Body image: The subjective picture or mental image of one’s own body.
Stretch marks: irregular lines or streaks on the skin where it has been stressed or distended.
Scars: a mark left on the skin or within body tissue where a wound, burn, or sore has not healed completely and fibrous connective tissue has developed.
(Definitions came from Oxford Languages)
We all have a body image. Most of us have stretch marks. And 90% of us have scars from something.
A lot of this world has a negative body image. This is due to the societal demands and trends. Young men and women and being told from a young age what they are and aren't supposed to look like. Just from the time since I was a young kid, the trends and demands have changed.
When I was younger, the ideal image for a woman was super skinny, no stretch marks, thin build. Then for a while it turned to curvy girls. Now it's a mix of curvy and skinny meaning thin build but still having curves. This has just been in the past 20 years. Just imagine beforehand and how much it has changed since times like the 1960’s.
The ideal image for someone changes all the time based on what a majority of society thinks looks appealing or what they are wanting in a person. Society and the pressures it causes of trying to fit it’s ideal standards create negative body image in a lot of people.
There’s this idea, especially for young men and women, that you need to fit into what society says you need to look like. When these people don’t look like that, they get discouraged and feel like their bodies are broken or unwanted. This can turn people to do things like developing eating disorders in order to fit into the standards. (This is not the only reason eating disorders develop. A lot of the time it doesn't have anything to do with the outward appearance but the need for control over something or associated disorders are causing it. Eating disorders are a mental health disorder and are not a choice. There are some people who are genetically predisposed to eating disorders meaning that neurologically they are more likely to develop these habits.)
I know for a fact this is damaging. For a long time (and even still now), I have followed Demi Lovato. For a while, she was one of the curviest people in Hollywood. She spoke out about her issues. She spoke out about the societal standards, norms, and demands. This helped me as a young teenager seeing someone who wasn't stick thin being out there and thriving.
Body image is something that can be either positive or negative and it is something that most people have to work on for their entire lives. I know it can be a day by day thing. Some days I have a decent body image and know that my body has been through a lot yet it is still working and providing me a life to live. Then there are the bad days. The days where all I can see are my flaws. The days where my stomach sticks out too much or my thighs are too big. These days happen to everyone, not just women and young girls.
To me, body image is something that you have to work on daily. It’s a daily choice. It’s a choice to choose if you are going to accept your body for the temple it is or are you going to tear it down because it doesn’t fit what society wants.
Stretch marks are something that can lead to a negative body image for some people. I have had stretch marks somewhere on my body since I was 8. They can bring a lot of negative emotions with them because they aren't “appealing”. If you have ever actually looked at a stretch mark, you would know that they are actually kinda beautiful. They have intricate patterns in them that are not replicable. They are unique to that mark.
I have a lot of stretch marks now on my stomach. If you have followed my journey over the past couple of years, you would know that about 1 and a half years ago, I was at about 250 LBS. Now my body stretched and caused stretch marks. I still have them now but they aren’t as deep or stretched as much as they were. I see them and sometimes they make me upset. It reminds me of a time that I wasn’t really caring for my body. It reminds me of the journey I've been on and sometimes it’s a discouraging one. But these marks also show that my body grew with me to provide that space I needed at that time. It shows that your body can expand to make room for the not so great seasons of your life or maybe the beginning of the greatest season ever if you get them from being pregnant.
I do not believe stretch marks are bad. Yes I still battle with mine and sometimes feel discouraged, but they are not bad. They show that your body grew with you in a season it needed to grow. Your body provided you a way to keep living even if it had to be stretched a little bit.
Another thing that people struggle with when it comes to their body image is scars. I have a lot of scars on my arms from self harming but I also have random scars that are not from that. Scars tell a story. I have a scar on my right hand thumb from Santana. I was playing with him and he caught my thumb and scratched it really bad. I have a scarish type thing on my left knee from a weird bump I get every once and a while that I always pick off (I know it’s bad) that is mickey shaped. I have scars on my right hand knuckle from a time my tics got bad and I kept hitting it on things.
Scars are not bad at all. They show you have been through something. They could be as silly as a random mickey shaped scar or something more serious like a life saving surgery or self harm scars. Eventually, I am going to try and share a picture that I took soon after I got my warrior tattoo on my arm that shows 99% of my scars on that area of my arm. There is so much power in that picture because there’s these scars that sometimes feel like they define my life yet there’s also a powerful word, warrior, that shows I got past it.
Scars show you are a fighter. Everyone fights against the enemy during their life. Some people wind up with more scars than the other but everyone has scars. Scars can also be both physical and emotional. Just because you don’t have very many physical scars doesn’t mean you haven't fought any battles. It could mean the greatest battlefield is that in your mind.
I have both emotional and physical scars and I’m sure you do too. I could go through and tell you story after story of things that have happened in my life that has left some kind of mark on me. There’s stories that not everyone knows. And I know you have stories of scars that you don’t share with people.
I don’t think scars mean you are a bad person. Like I said, scars mean you have taught some pretty tough battles. But it shows you are stronger than the things you were fighting.
Stretch marks and scars can definitely impact someone’s body image negatively. I don’t think there is anything wrong with either of those things. They both show that you have lived a life and have fought many battles.
Like I said, body image is something that you may have to work on everyday so I thought I could share some of the things I do that help me.
1) Find what God has to say about me.
- I know this is kind of cliche but I go to God’s word to find the truth. Some things that He says is that we were fearfully and wonderfully made. We are wonderfully complex. We are chosen. We are a masterpiece.
2) I fuel my body with food that makes me feel good.
- Let me kinda explain this one. There is this thing called intuitive eating (don’t get it confused with intuitive dieting, intuitive dieting is just another dieting industry ploy that will just get you in a worse spot). Basically the basis is eating when you are hungry and eating what you want but also listening to your body at the same time. So like if you want ice cream, eat that ice cream but don’t overeat it. Eat until your body naturally says it’s full. It means making the food you want and eating it until you feel like you're actually full and only eating when you are truly hungry. It’s a lot more sophisticated and complicated than that but that's the basis that I understand. If you want more info on it, I can send you to some helpful people’s social media that have helped me kinda understand this. But basically I eat what I want only when I am actually hungry and only until I am actually full. If I want gummy sharks, I eat gummy sharks. If I want strawberries, I eat strawberries. ETC.
3) I wear things that make me feel good and confident.
- When I was younger, I could only wear certain things to an extent because it had to please my mother. Now I wear whatever I want, whenever I want. I have learned that I feel more confident when dressing modestly then before. I have learned that some days I love rocking dresses but some days it’s back to my faithful black ripped jeans and favorite shirt. Some days it’s all black and some days it’s a mix of colors. But I choose to no longer listen to what other people want me to wear and wear what makes me feel good and confident.
4) I do not practice body positivity.
- This one might be confusing. I feel like the body positivity movement can be toxic. I will not always be positive about my body and this movement feels like you need to be body positive all the time. It kinda makes you feel bad when you are not and in turn you practice toxic positivity which gets you nowhere but in a worse position.
5) I move my body when I want to move my body in ways that make it feel good.
- I have been going to the gym and I absolutely love it. I am loving working hard to get stronger and faster. But I only do this on days that I want to do it. I’m not gonna lie there are days where I get to the gym, do 2 small things and decide I don’t want to be there anymore. Sometimes that’s literally 10 minutes after I get there and instead of pushing my body, I leave because I only want to do what makes me feel good.
Body image, stretch marks, and scars are things that a lot of people struggle with. It’s okay to struggle with these things but it is not okay to let them rule your life. Reach out to people if you are really struggling. Pray and ask God to have Him show you have He views you. Have people speak into your life.
Hold onto hope and stay strong.
Madison Rae <3
Comentarios