I had something completely different planned for this week but feel like this was layed on my heart.
Most of you guys know that I was hired on at Target as seasonal. Going in I didn't know if I would get to stay or if I would have to find another job at the end of the season at one of the worst times of year to try and find a job. I was having severe anxiety about it this past month, especially about 2 weeks ago. The Thursday of that week I had intense anxiety attacks because my anxiety got so high about whether or not I got to stay.
There’s only really one thing I can do when my anxiety gets as intense as it did and that is to pray. God is the only one in those moments that can help me. I spent about 20 minutes crying and just praying and telling Him my worries and fears and just giving it to Him. I felt better after that but still not 100% but I did get a sense of peace that no matter what happened, God would provide and make a way for me.
Fast forward to last week. I was asked by my team lead if I did want to stay at Target after the season and was told that I was one of the people they wanted to stay. Guys this is exactly what I needed to hear in order to be able to keep going and just have faith that everything was going to work out.
This week, the person above the team lead started talking to people about whether or not they would stay. I got 2 seconds of insane bravery and asked my team lead if they knew when the head was going to really start talking to people. I got worried after this cause I was going to say anything and before I knew it came out of my mouth. They said that she had already started. Then he said that he thought I was one of the ones they were going to keep and they were going to talk to her.
A couple hours later my team lead asked if the head had talked to me yet. And when I said no, they called her on the walkie and next thing I knew it was time to have that conversation with the head. When I say I was almost physically shaking from the anxiety I am not kidding. My anxiety skyrocketed because that would make or break everything. But I had this sense of peace that God had everything planned.
I did get the job but I know people who didn’t. And I am beyond thankful that I did. God knows the desires of our heart. But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about the fact that God is good all the time.
Even if I hadn't gotten the job, I would be trying my hardest to praise God. He knew that a new job in a healthy environment is what I needed and that’s what I got. God provided my needs. God would have still been good because He is always good.
It’s easy to praise God in the good. But what about in the bad? God isn’t just good when things are going your way. He is also good when things are not going your way. He will always be good. He is a faithful God. He cares about you. He wants the best for you even if it’s not what you think.
Yes I did get the job. That’s good. What would have happened if I hadn't gotten the job? I probably would have my last day either this week or next week. I would have to look for a new job in one of the worst times of year to look for a job. But one thing I do know is that God would have provided. He always does.
God was still good when my mom died. God was good when I was put inpatient at the beginning of 2020. God was still good when I lost my job at Justice because of covid. God was good when I got the job at walmart. God was good when I reconnected with a friend. God was good when I finally broke things off with Drew.
God is still good in the bad. We still need to be praising Him in the bad as we do in the good. God is always worthy of our praise, even the little things. I always thank God when I get a low time limit pick up done in time because only He can give me the strength to get it done. Only He could help me move fast enough and find the items in a timely manner.
I praise God everyday for waking me up and waking my friends, family, and pets up. I praise God for giving me breath in my lungs and air through my nose. You can praise God for anything. We should thank Him even for the mundane because He is showing He is good by waking us up. He is showing He is good by giving us friends, family, and pets. He shows He is good by giving us breath in our lungs.
If God wakes you up, you have a purpose in life and you have a reason to thank God.
Hold onto hope and stay strong.
Madison Rae <3
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