Rain came and wind blew
But my house was built on You
I'm safe with You
I'm going to make it through
Maverick City Music “Firm Foundation (He Won’t)
I haven't written in a while but when I heard these lyrics I knew I had to say something about them. I went to Passion 2022 and it was a truly incredible experience that I am so glad I got to witness. Nothing is more amazing than around 60,000 other young adults worshipping God.
At Passion, Maverick City played this song. It is called Firm Foundation (He Won’t). And this whole song is amazing. But the lyrics I posted up top really hit me.
The storms will come. I have been through a lot of storms in my life and I am sure you have too, but when your foundation is in Christ, you will not be moved.
With Christ as your firm foundation, you will have an unexplainable peace that doesn't make sense and you can have joy in the chaos. I can attest to this in my own life. God will not fail you.
But I want to speak about the lyrics “I’m safe with you. I’m going to make it through.” If you know my story, you know I’ve been through a lot in my life. If you don’t know my story, I am more than happy to share it. But one thing I struggle with is feeling safe. I do not feel safe often with people or at places which makes it a huge deal when I feel safe with people.
I think there are different levels of feeling safe. I can be safe in a space but still be anxious. I can feel safe with a person but still not really be who I am or be anxious the whole time. Or there’s times I feel completely safe with the environment I am in and feel comfortable to be whoever I choose to be that day and not really be anxious about my surroundings. There are people I feel completely safe with and know that no matter who my brain makes me to be that day, I am safe with them. They can see my heart and who I really am. I can trust them.
There’s levels in between that like not feeling safe at all or feeling so safe that I never want to leave. Side note, Target has always been a safe space for me and so being able to work there is amazing because I work in an environment that I feel generally safe in. I may not feel safe with some of the people but environment wise I feel safe.
What’s incredible about this lyric is that it is talking about how we are safe with God. Now I know that that might sound crazy. But stay with me. If you are like me, then you have been hurt by males in your life. You also may have some church hurt. You may think the idea of ever actually being safe is foreign and doesn’t make sense. I am right there with you. I do not feel safe often in an environment or with people.
I struggle feeling safe around people a lot. I struggle with feeling like I can’t be myself because they would never accept me or like me because of my personality and just who I am. But the thing about this is that God is the one who actually formed you. He is the one who knit you together in your mother’s womb. He’s the one who gave you that personality you are oh so insecure about. He’s the one that gave you the big brown eyes and crazy curly hair. He’s the one who gave your voice the tone it has. God has given you everything.
And with that, He knows everything. He already knew what you were going to struggle with before you were born. He already knew you’d have that disorder and be made fun of for it. He already knew who your parents were going to be and who you were going to marry. You can’t really hide from Him.
Okay so why can you feel safe with God? Well first off, you know He wins in the end. Secondly, He knows you. He knows what breaks your heart and what grieves you. Lastly, you can talk to Him about anything.
What do you mean you can talk to Him about anything? Well if He already knows like He says He does, then in theory you can tell Him anything. He won’t be shocked or surprised by that thing or that thought because He already knows.
Let’s play this card. What if you don’t know an earthly father or have been severely hurt by one or by a male in general and especially a male in authority at a church. I can see your hesitation. I can see you backing away. I can see the hurt you experienced at the hands of another. I can 100% see you being angry with a God who allowed it to happen. It feels like it ruined your entire life. Maybe you developed a trauma related disorder because of it.
I see you. I am right there with you. My father was not around growing up because of his job. I was taken advantage of by an older neighbor in the neighborhood I grew up in. My brother is physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. At church, I have been told my disorders are because of lack of faith. I have been looked down upon at the church because of my disorders. I have borderline personality disorder and PTSD because of my trauma. I get it.
But I have never felt more safe than I do when I am talking to God or just sitting in His presence. I have never felt more safe with a male figure ever than I do with God. No matter how much hurt I have experienced, He is still there.
God doesn’t leave when things get hard. God doesn’t tell you that you are a disappointment and will never amount to things. God doesn’t shame you when you do something He doesn’t agree with. God does not belittle you for your ideas or your mistakes. God does not look down on you because of something you struggle with.
And I know you could think I am just saying that because that’s what a lot of christians say. Here’s the thing, I actually hate being called a christian. There I said it. I think there is so much stigma and judgements that come with that term. I will say I follow Christ or that I have a relationship with God. I will say I am a christian when I am acknowledging the stigma that christians have about things people deal with or how people identify. I will say I am a christian when I am saying that because of this I have to watch what I say and bring up because of what past or current christians say about these things. Me following Christ is what makes my identity up. I find my identity in Christ but my identity is not in the term of being a christian.
I really am not just saying those things. I am saying those things because they are things that have played out in my life. God came to me the night I was going to try to die by suicide. He showed me He is real. That was 7 ½ years ago. It has been one heck of a journey since then with things like relapses, suicidal ideation, death, and more. He has never once called me a disappointment. He has never once shamed me for my past or things I am struggling with. Ever since giving my heart to Him, He has never once left me. He has been by my side every step of the way even when I wanted little to nothing to do with Him. And when I decided to come back to Him, He didn’t shame or belittle me. He welcomed me back with open arms.
His arms are where I feel the safest. I can be myself there. I can have any emotion I want. I can yell or I can whisper. I can scream and cry or I could be calm, cool and collected and I would still be safe. God will not yell back at me. God will not scream at me for my emotions or ways that I am feeling.
I am safe with Him because no matter who I am or what I have done, I am welcomed by Him. I am safe with Him because no matter how much I have done, I will not be condemned because there is no condemnation in Christ. I am safe with Him because He has shown me what real love looks like. I am safe with Him because He wants the best for me and knows what is best for me more than myself or anyone on this earth.
With God, I can get through anything. Storms will come, but if my foundation is built on the Rock, I can get through literally anything this life throws at me.
All the lyrics I put up top really stick with me. But also this idea that God hasn’t failed yet and He won’t fail us. It may feel like it. Maybe you or that family member or friend gets a really sucky diagnosis. Maybe you go through a trauma you never imagined possible. Maybe you go through a breakup with someone that you thought you’d be with for the rest of your life. That isn’t God failing, that is our human nature failing and the fall of humanity being played out.
God will not fail. He may allow you to go through some really hard times but He has a plan for it. God has a plan to use everything you have ever been through. Your pain has a purpose.
You are safe with God. You are safe in His presence.
Now with that, I am not going to dismiss church hurt from pastors or leaders in the church who take advantage of their title. I did not say you were safe with the leaders in the church. I said with God. People fail. People use religion to get away with things they shouldn’t get away with. If you have dealt with this, I am so sorry, but know that it wasn’t God. God is not the one who did or said those things to you. It was people. People that obviously weren’t safe even if others said they were.
God will not fail you and you are safe with Him. You will forever be safe with Him.
Hold onto hope and stay strong.
Madison Rae <3
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