This is gonna be a real life update. I am coming at you with wet messy hair, pajamas on, and eating a frozen chicken nugget dinner. Here we go.
I would be lying if I tried to say my life is going great right now. I’m sure you would be too. Life right now is unpredictable. It’s concerning and anxiety provoking. Right now is hard and I’m sure you feel it too.
Truth be told, I feel out of control of even the simple things in my life. I feel disconnected and distant. I feel overwhelmed and unstable. I’m feeling high anxiety right now. I feel powerless.
Im sure you are feeling some of these things too. And that’s okay. Its okay to be feeling a range of emotions. It’s okay to feel grief for the things you were looking forward to and now don’t get to do. Its okay to feel disappointed by said things. Its okay to be angry at the situation. Its okay to be saddened by this situation.
Feeling emotion is good, healthy and important. What we need to do is not let those emotions control us. It is really easy to be driven by emotion. Example: I’m feeling depressed so I am going to stay in bed today. I’m angry so I’m going to lose my cool at everyone today.
Its not good to be driven by emotions. Emotions can lead us to do things we will regret later or that is against who we are as a person. Emotions are dangerous when they drive your life. They can lead to dangerous behaviors or actions.
I am struggling with being home with my brother. I’m used to always being somewhere and now I’ve had to stop and spend more time home. I’m used to going to target or Joann’s whenever I felt like it just to get out of the house and now I’m not supposed to do it.
I feel like I have no say in my life. Yes, I get to pick what I do each day but I’m limited in what I can do. I completely understand why we are social distancing. I completely understand and fully agree that we should be to slow the spread of the virus. But I’m just saying it sucks and I’m sure you feel it too.
I feel isolated because I can’t hang out with my friends in person. I’m not even supposed to hang out with my fiancé but I’m going to do that one anyway. I have high anxiety because of all the unknowns going on right now. I feel crazy overwhelmed because there’s constantly something new about the world being thrown in your face every time you get on social media or it all anyone wants to talk about.
I feel unstable. This is the big one. My life is being turned upside down. No physical interaction. No work. Not supposed to go out unless you have to. No going to the gym. Being home all the time brings back memories of when I was younger. When I was home over the summers during school when I struggled the most. It brings back the feeling of wanting to go back into old habits.
This time is hard and not just for me and not just for you. I’m here if you need someone to talk to about what is going on or just need someone to talk too.
Madison Rae <3
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