On February 14th, I will be turning 21 so I thought I would talk about some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the last 20 years!
1) Life is worth living.
When I was 13/14 I did not think I’d live past my 16th birthday let alone make it to my 21st. I thought I would have committed suicide by then if I am being honest. These past almost 7ish years have had a lot of ups and downs. There’s been good and bad but I would not take any of it back for any reason. All of these ups and downs have made me who I am and I don’t think I would be who I am without going through these things.
2) My disorders do not define me
I still sometimes struggle with this one but it is so true. My disorders are not my identity. They do not make me who I am. They do not get to choose who I am. I get to do that. I am not defined by what these disorders say I am or how the world views these disorders.
3) Don’t let other people control your life
For a very long time, my mom had control over my life. Control over what I did with my hair or just in general. Control over my treatment plan. No one knows you better than you (other than God. He knows you the best). When we give someone else control of our lives, we are letting them have the steering wheel. God should have the steering wheel, not anyone on this earth. I am fighting to be in control of the things I can be in control of and not letting other people dictate what I do or do not do. A good example would be my tattoos. My mom told me that she did not want me to be all tatted up. She wasn't happy when I got my 3rd tattoo. I am now up to 9. I can tell you that she would not be happy but I am trying to figure out who I am and not who anyone wants me to be.
4) Be who you are
The world will try to tell you who you are. It has definitely tried to tell me who to be. It’s tried to tell me that I don't fit into the categories of my disorders and that I am too different. It’s tried to tell me I’m an attention seeker. It’s tried to tell me I’m manipulative. It’s tried to tell me that I am unlovable and a burden. None of that is true. I am trying to figure out who I am. It’s a journey. You don’t just wake up one day knowing who you are. Now yes I know that I am a child of God. I know I am chosen, wonderfully and fearfully made, a masterpiece, etc. But just knowing those things doesn’t mean I have taken it on as my identity. It’s a process for me to accept things like that when I have let the world and other people tell me who I am. I am learning to be who I am and it’s a journey but I wouldn’t take it back for anything.
5) True friends will stay through the thick and the thin
I have a couple of really amazing friends in my life. These people have gone through thick and thin with me. We’ve gone through periods without talking and then we go through periods when we talk all day long. These people have been with me through some of the toughest times in my life and they haven’t left me. These people are people I can rely on and they can rely on me.
6) Find a job you truly enjoy and do it to the best of your ability
This one is pretty self explanatory but I am finally at a job that I absolutely love. I am in one of the healthiest work environments I have ever been in. I am surrounded by some pretty amazing people at work. I really enjoy doing my job and helping guests when they need it. When I absolutely love my job and the environment, I will be the most loyal person you have. I will try to be the best I can be. I will try and do whatever I can to help my department (or in target’s case my team) succeed.
7) Everyone deserves to be treated the same
Here’s the thing, I have been treated differently for a lot of my life whether it was because of the way I talked, my mental health or my tourettes. I have people who feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me because to them I am a ticking time bomb. I have people who have treated me poorly because they didn't understand my disorders or something and so they thought it was okay to treat me badly. I have some amazing people in my life who treat me like they treat everyone else and that's all I want. That’s also what I give. I do not care if you are black, white, purple, gay, straight, muslim, jewish, etc. you are a human and you deserve to be treated like one. I am not going to treat someone differently because of who they are just like I don’t want anyone to treat me differently because of who I am. As someone who has been treated differently because of having some kind of disability, I know that people with disabilities just want to be treated like normal people. Like maybe you have to word stuff differently or approach things differently but that doesnt mean to treat them badly or like they are incapable of doing things.
8) Don’t let other people influence you in ways that compromise who you are
This one goes along with being who you are. There’s a lot of times where people in your life or just society in general will tell you something you should like and something that you shouldn’t. A good example of this would be gen Z. This is my generation apparently. But according to all these gen Zer’s skinny jeans and side parts are wrong. If I listened to this, I would not be who I am. I do not enjoy nonskinny jeans. I do not like the way they feel. I also do not look good with a middle part plus with the way my hair is currently cut, a middle part would look really funny. We do not need to do what society says is acceptable and not do what they say is unacceptable. If we did that, then we wouldn’t be christians cause right now it seems like society is trying to say that being a christian is unacceptable and it’s just going to get worse. When I was living for and in the world and not following who I am and who God says I am, I was so miserable and I almost gave up who I was in order to fit in with society and that’s not okay. We should not give up who we are or our boundaries in order to fit in and be influenced by society.
9) God is good
This is the biggest and best lesson I have ever learned. God is so so good. He is always with us no matter what we are going through. He walks through fire with us. He walks through the valleys and He hikes to the mountain tops with us. He will always be with us. He says He is good and He will always be good. Now we may go through some really sucky things and it may not feel like God is near or that He is good, but that is not true. God promises to never leave or forsake us. And God never breaks His promises.
These are some of the biggest lessons I have learned in my 20 years. Most of these I am still working on learning and I have only recently really started to learn. Lessons come anytime and anywhere. We should always be learning new things. I am excited to see what 21 brings. Hopefully it will be good, and even if it isn’t, Gdod will still be good.
Hold onto hope and stay strong.
Madison Rae <3
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