I wish words were like little toy guns
No sting, no hurt no one, just a bang bang
Rolling off your tongue (I wish words were like little toy guns)
Yeah, no smoke, no bullets
No kick from the trigger when you pull it, no pain, no damage done
(I wish words were like little toy guns)
And just a bang bang rolling off your tongue
(I wish words were like little toy guns)
Carrie Underwood “Little Toy Guns”
I was listening to this song on my way home from appointments and I actually got tears in my eyes for the first time ever from listening to this song. Words. Words hurt. They hurt a lot. The saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” could not be further from the truth.
Words stick with you. I am sure you remember at least one bad thing that someone said about you to you. I’m sure you can remember bad arguments that your parents had or that you had with siblings or family members or friends.
Words stay for a while. Did you know that it takes 7 positive comments to make up for 1 negative comment in our mind? Did you know that we have a negativity bias which means our brains are pretty much wired to be stuck on the negative.
This song made me think about the past, which is why I had tears in my eyes. I was driving and I remembered a huge fight my brother and parents got into. It was probably about money or something that they wouldn’t give him and it got out of hand. I remember I was sitting on my floor in my old craft room watching Sonny With A Chance and just being so upset. Yelling was and still is a trigger for me because of my brother.
If words didn’t leave such a mark in you, that'd be great. Some words are like bullets. They hit you square in your heart and they affect you a lot. Some words are like honey for the soul.
I remember words that were said to me when I was younger. I remember most of the negative things that were said more than the positive. I remember one day I was walking in the hallway at school and out of nowhere kids I don’t think I knew called me a cutter and my heart broke.
I can remember a lot of the comments my brother has made about my weight or my eating whether it be what I'm eating or how I’m eating. I can remember being told I was faking my tics and accent. I can remember that I was called an attention seeker from getting injured when I was younger and from my tics.
These are all the negative things that come to mind when I think about words people have said.It’s sometimes hard to remember the positive ones but I know there have been some. People saying I love you or I care about you. People reminding me I’m a daughter of the King. People telling me my life is worth living and I am worth more than harming myself. These are a few of the things I can vaguely remember.
Words are a powerful weapon. They can either be used for good or for bad. The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about words. Let’s take a look!
Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.
Proverbs 18:20
The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain; the words of the wicked conceal violent intentions.
Proverbs 10:11
The lips of the godly speak helpful words, but the mouth of the wicked speaks perverse words.
Proverbs 20:32
The words of the wicked are like a murderous ambush, but the words of the godly save lives.
Proverbs 12:6
The words of the godly are like sterling silver; the heart of a food is worthless.
Proverbs 10:20
Kind words are like honey- sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24
I’m sure you get the point by now. Words are powerful. They can tear someone down or build someone up. It’s super easy to gossip and tear people down with our words. It’s really easy to go with what everyone else is doing or saying about a person or things. It’s easy to look for the negative in things. It’s easy to tear people down.
But what if we tried to build people up?
That’s a crazy thought, right? Not really. We are called to encourage one another.
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
We are called to build people up. We are called to encourage people. Well how do we do that? First off, stop nitpicking people. Stop finding reasons to tear someone down. Stop listening to what the world has to say about that person. Stop searching for reasons to be mean. Just stop.
We are told that if someone smacks one cheek, we are to give them the other. Where am I getting with that? We even need to encourage and build up the people who hurt us or our friends or family.
What?!?!?! I know. That is easier said than done. It’s really easy for me to look at the people who bullied me or said I was faking this or that and write them off. Now there is one person that if I see in person again, I will most likely have a panic attack but that’s for another day. We are still called to build them up.
I am not saying you have to be best friends or even acquaintances with that person. Just start by not picking them apart and tearing them down. Don’t speak badly about other people. If you have a real problem with a person, first bring it to God, then bring it up to them. If that doesn't work, bring it up to wise counsel like someone at the church. If that doesn’t work, first off keep praying, and keep reaching out till you find someone who believes you.
Don’t tear other people down. Don’t talk bad about other people. Don’t engage in gossip. Don’t nitpick someone. Don’t start fights purposely with someone. Just don’t.
Instead find some kind of positive. Maybe they have nice shoes or clothes or something. Compliment them on that. Don’t be mean. Don’t have an attitude towards them. Be genuine. Help build them up and don’t be afraid to. We still need to be nice to those who hurt us. As christians we are called to live a different lifestyle and part of that is loving everyone no matter who they are or what they did.
If you see someone in public that you don’t know and you like their makeup, clothes, hair, etc. SAY SOMETHING! Words are like honey for the soul. They can bring life. You never know what kind of day that person is having and you just saying that could make their day or put a smile on their face. I’d say smile at others, but we can’t see people’s mouths so that doesn’t really work right now. We need to be intentional with this.
We need to be intentional at building people up. Have you ever noticed that being nice to someone else can make you feel better? I have. This is why I love writing notes and sending cards. I love encouraging others because it builds them up, but it also gives me a sense of joy being able to make someone smile. Like I said, you never know what kind of day someone is having unless you ask or they tell you about it. You writing a note or saying something could really be what they needed that day!
What are things you can do to help encourage and build someone up?
1) Write notes.
Everyone I know loves to get notes or cards. Most people appreciate words of affirmation even if that is not their love language.
2) Random acts of kindness.
Maybe you could pay for someone's coffee behind you. Maybe you could leave notes or things of encouragement around for random people to find.
3)Create relationships.
One of the best ways to help build people up is by creating a relationship with them. You never know who needs a friend.
4) Compliment them.
Like I said above, you never know what an encouraging word can do for someone. They could be really struggling and hearing you say something positive could help them.
These are just a few ways I could think of that you could encourage and build someone up. The world is so focused on the negative. What if we tried to be a positive light in the negative dark?
Hold onto hope and stay strong.
Madison Rae <3
Comentarios