What goes up most come down. Thats how a lot of people with bipolar look at life. We know that once our mood goes up, it is bound to go back down. It can be an overnight process or it can take a couple days and be gradual. Most of my going back down goes quickly and is overnight. It sucks because well you go from feeling amazing, where you can do anything and where you feel good about yourself to barely able to get out of bed. Unless, like in my case, you are forced out of bed. Aka mom forcing me out of bed.
Bipolar is not a fun disorder and I would never wish it on my worst enemies. It is the worst going from hypomania (or mania is you have bipolar 1) to severe depression overnight. It takes a special kind of person to be able to handle it. Bipolar is very tricky because sometimes you have symptoms of both hypomania and depression. This is called a mixed episode. Those are no fun because you have all this energy and you feel great but you have absolutely no motivation and you just want to stay in bed all day.
My goal in writing this is not to complain but to educate you guys on bipolar. It is a very stigmatized disorder that people don’t understand and misuse when talking about things like the weather. I can tell you I hate when people misuse the word bipolar. Its like a punch in the face. Like your disorder is a punchline.
I want to share with you guys some things about bipolar.
1. We are normal people. We have feelings just like you. We feel happy and we feel sad. We put pants on one leg at a time.
2. We don’t want people to look at us different. You’re right, we do have a disorder that makes us different but does that mean you have to look and treat us differently?
3. Sometimes we hate taking our meds and really hate when people remind us about it. Most of the time we have a system set in place to remember our meds, and that could very well be a person, but just because we aren’t acting the way you want us to, doesn’t mean we need to be asked if we have taken our meds.
4. We are afraid the people in our life will leave us because of the way our moods are. This is really hard for me to talk about. I am constantly worried that people are going to leave my life because of mostly my depressed mood because sometimes I feel like it can be too much for others to be around.
5. Our emotions are sometimes intensified. We feel normal human emotions but they can be more or less more extreme than what you feel. They are intensified.
Theres a little bit about my disorder. Hope you guys can understand and learn with me as I am still learning about my disorder. Thank you for reading.
Until next time
Madison Rae <3
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