I have so much energy. I think I am goIng crazy. I’ve been literally turning in circles until I get ridiculously dizzy. SkippIng around the house. Running up the stairs. I think I can do any and everythIng. I’ve rearranged my room. I have chased Holly and Finn while turning in circles because oh my gosh it’s so fun. To you I might be goIng crazy. To me I’m hypomanIc.
I cant help this. It’s my genetic make up. I saw all the signs that thIs was coming the past day or two. Drowning on Monday to feeling okay and having energy and creativity yesterday to having too much energy, going all over the place, feeling amazing today.
The real questions are what is going to happen next. How bad is the crash going to be? How long will this last? Will people see me as crazy? Am I going crazy?
I love and hate this feeling. I know it is going to come to an end so I hate it in that sense. But I love it because I feel so amazing. I feel on top of the world. I can do any and everything. No more down today, just up, up, up...
This is how I’m feeling right now. Some of you will just see me as having more energy and more talkative. Your right I am and I do. But there is a danger with this. The crash that happens next. You never want it to come. You want to stay up because it feels amazing. You don’t have to be afraid when your up. Yes there can be irritability and anxiety but golly it feels so good.
When I feel this way, I feel like I am being the me I was made to be. I can talk for however long I want to. I feel good. I have energy. But I know that it’s neurotransmitter induced and well it’s not a forever feeling.
I know this feeling is not a forever feeling. I try to enjoy it while it is here because its like a part of me came back. It’s like an old friend came to see me after a little while. I try to enjoy it because it is a lot more enjoyable then the opposite. It’s just a matter of time until that is here, but let’s not think about that and just enjoy this feeling, k?
Madison Rae <3
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