Hey y’all! Today I thought I’d come and write about some things to definitely not say to someone who is struggling with mental health disorders. These things that I am going to write down are things that could trigger us, are stigmatized, or things that plain out hurt. Think about your words before you say them.
You’re just doing this for attention.
You’re being selfish.
Why do you not love me?
Anxiety is just lack of faith.
Suicide is selfish.
Attention seeker.
You have no reason to be sad.
You were just happy yesterday. What happened?
If you do that, I will do it too.
You just want attention.
You don’t actually need help.
Have you taken your meds today? (This one is in the context of an argument or disagreement.)
If you do that, I’m going to leave.
You’re being manipulative.
You just don’t have enough faith.
I thought you were strong.
You were fine yesterday.
You’re crazy.
No one will love you because of how you behave.
You have to love yourself before you love someone else.
Time will make you better.
You looked better when you were skinny.
Wow, you lost so much weight. You look good.
I completely understand… (Then going into something that doesn't even come close to what we were just talking about.)
Everyone deals with that.
Nothing is wrong with you.
It is what it is.
You chose to have this disorder.
These are some of the biggest things I can think of that we hear a lot.
One thing to not do is to invalidate someone’s feelings. This happens more than I can explain. Let that person tell you how they feel and don’t minimize it by saying that you go through it too and then go through a story that doesn’t fit. Don’t try to compare feelings, emotions, trauma, etc. and try to make yours sound worse. (Everyone's trauma is valid. No one is worse than the other. Everyone who has trauma perceives it differently even if it was a similar experience. Trauma is not what happens to you but how your brain and body respond to it.)
Nobody chooses to deal with mental health. I would have never chosen this life. I would never have said oh I want a disorder that makes me emotionally unstable every day and causes me to feel like the worst person alive. No one chooses to battle with mental health disorders.
Basically don’t say something that you wouldn’t want to hear. Don’t say something that could have any stigma around it. Don’t say something that you think will hurt the person you are talking to.
Hold onto hope and stay strong.
Madison Rae <3
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