Hey Y’all so I just wanted to give a little update about where I’ve been and why I haven't been writing so much.
So this last time I really wrote was when a friend from work passed away and I wrote about suicide. That’s really the last time I wrote and posted something. My life has been crazy since then.
That week was a really really hard week. The next week, my brother was picking a fight with me over something super stupid and miniscule. I was going to wait until the end of the year to move out so I could move out with my friend. I was going to wait to have a quick move out unless my brother got physical again. That was kinda my last straw. Well the people I told that to basically said I was being stupid and needed to get out asap.
So with that I reached out to my ETL and found resources to help. That was on a Wednesday, by Monday afternoon, I had my own apartment! I moved in the next day and have been here ever since. I absolutely love it!!! I am doing so well right now it’s really crazy.
For one time in my life, I can actually come home and not be on edge. I actually want to come home and not try to avoid it all the time. I can come home and relax and do what I want and play whatever music I want, move the rooms around, etc. without the fear that someone is going to make a snide comment or start a fight.
Y’all moving out has been the very best thing for me. It’s crazy to see the difference that just a little over a week has made. I feel like I am starting to really become who I truly am and actually being comfortable with that. I feel like I am finally getting closer to being content and happy with my life.
I have never been as happy and content with my life than I am now! I don’t think I have ever been so thankful to be alive then I am at this current time. God is so good and faithful and I am so grateful that He didn’t let my attempts go through.
I am learning to live on my own. I am learning how to be an adult and living on my own. I am learning how to take care of a cat on my own.
For the first time in my life, I am not ashamed or nervous to have people come over. I love having people over. I love that I can make my apartment be a safe place for not just me but also my people. My space isn't just for me. My apartment is for my friends and most of my family to come to if they need someone to talk to, to stay the night, to be heard, to get advice, to just be around people, to be safe, and to feel validated.
I am hoping to start writing again soon! I am learning how to balance things and need to learn how to actually do things that I enjoy, not just work and watching things. I want to get back into writing, reading, and art journaling.
I am excited to see my space grow and to just see how this big move changes my life for the better!
If you need a safe place to talk, be heard, or a safe place, please message me and you will be more than welcome to come over. I am here for you!
Hold onto hope and stay strong!
Madison Rae <3
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